Three years, desperately trying to save Kiti,as I couldn't save myself

I tried and tried to get help - from social workers, lawyers, police, British and Spanish residents, neighbours and shopkeepers, directly and through internet forums, Age Concern and associatons for women, just everything. Nobody cared.

The reason I was holding my arms was that I felt that the tendons might split and rupture at any moment. The pain is staggering.
*

The next was a desperate message for the Survival people. I didn't send it, because by thenI'd realised that they didn't care and wouldn't bother, even to have 70,000€ for Survival straight away and later inherit anything else that remained. All I asked was help for the paperwork to make it possible and a safe home for Kiti. They killed him a few days later. Nobody cares, really, about anything that matters.

For three years, since I was quintoxed, I've been trying t get help to do all the change of domicile, which is extremely easy and simple and which I'd have done myself if I weren't crippled, so that I could make a will in favour of Survival International and Medicos Sin Fronteras. Now, I don't even want to do that. Frankly, to live as we do and as I saw the trustee of Survival shamelessly living and thinking, yet give money to the very people and places we're wrecking, is just adding insult to injury. It's far too late - they won't survive - and I already knew that. For me, it would only have been a wholly inadequate apology, but now I don't even want to do that, or if I did, it would not be via a Guardianista faux-Socialist organisation, but directly. Anyway, I no longer care, except about Kiti. It's too late as far I'm concerned, too - someone with "authority" will come and put me in a hospital or prison and Kiti'll be alone and only the wicked will profit. They flourish like the green plastic bay trees in hotel foyers.

*****

Below was just after Marcos' dogs had caught Kiti and thank goodness they only caught him when he'd raced as far as my wire and that I was very near and it didn't happen two or three weeks earlier, when I was still completely crippled. It was HORRIBLE. I did manage to rescue him with only a second or two to spare - he was up against the fence, at dog-head height, struggling terrified against the netting, all soaked with their saliva, and they were all - five or six of them - crazily yelping and barking and attacking him. I've seen and heard them slaughering so many creatures and they don't do it neatly or fast, but in a bloodthirsty, stupid way. Kiti raced away and hid as soon as I got the fence lifted, while shouting at the impervious dogs, helped him through and yelled and menaced till they ran off, and I didn't know whether or how badly he was hurt. He's worth (nearly) all the humans I've met times a thousand. I've never - hardly ever - been like this; I was always sweet, calm and reasonable, even when I shouldn't have been, but now I only want one thing - to save Kiti. I don't want to die or get carted off to hosital and leave him to starve or be killed here.

 *****

After unexpected, unwanted, abusive visit from Rodriguez and Age Abuse:

*****

After days and nights more of heat, marauding dogs, insults, threats, abuse and idiocy to the point of madness:

  

The dogs were finally taken away on Saturday, after nearly four months of hellish slaughter, no thanks to anyone but me. I've also recorded (with his knowledge) Marcos agreeing to have a civilised meeting (also recorded, as I can't get ayone to be a witness or accompany me) to try to reach a comromise about compensation for the harm he's done me.

After the visits form so many robots, bullies, ego-maniacs and extortionists, I vowed never to speak to anyone again (with a few exceptions) without recording it. Otherwise, they can lie afterwards and say that I wouldn't accept help, or other wicked inventions. I won't accept "Help," which is why I don't want to know what the three representatives of the Ayuntamiento would have proposed - it'd be interference, but certainly not help. If they wanted to help, they could have done so quickly and easily when I begged them so many times. No wonder Spain's in debt - three idiots this time, but after I'd made a gate (60€ and three days of physical agony) and triumphed about the dogs. I bet they'll be back to punish me - that's why I lied to them, saying someone was coming from France to take me home. I wish it were true; I wish it were possible, but if I could make Kiti safe and be left in peace, that'd be quite acceptable.

She's a refugee hen. who lives with us now.

But they came in the night and killed him.
On the night of 25th. July 2012
Marcos sent two children of twelve years old to entrap kiti in that old caravan and MURDER him.
That was and still is the worst thing that's happened because of my being incapacitated. I was living for Kiti and would willingly have died for him, but he died because of me, so don't expect me to care about any humans in comparison - we're not worth it.